See that card? It’s just wonderful, isn’t it? I got it from my friend who was in Paris for one week and came home yesterday. It isn’t a Postcrossing card but I still wanted to add it here on my blog since I wish every Postcrossing card looked like this! As lovely, humorous and photographical… I got very happy receiving this. :)

I have also received a couple of Hungarian direct swap cards and then put them in frames. You know, I have a big collection of Hungarian cards, letters, envelopes and articles and I will put them in one pair of large frames one day. I only have small ones now, so I guess I must invest to bigger ones or otherwise I don’t know where I would put this collection soon. Small frames are small frames, see?

I really had nothing to write about and that’s why I’m this rambling today. I just feel so happy after having a weekend with my sister, like, just the two of us and receiving so much beautiful and stunning postcards and… I shouldn’t have written this. But why should I only be writing when I have something to whine about? I’m just saying.

I visited a local Hungarian evening with my dad yesterday. We got some very delicious gulyás soup and wine, but it wasn’t as great as I had thought it would be. Why? Because everyone except me and my dad were seniors. Not that it would bother me but I obviously bothered them. Even though they all said it was wonderful to get a young person to join the evening no one really talked to me.

Okay I lied a bit. There was one woman that talked to me and I wish she never had. She was scary and annoying. When one of the men was giving a speach and told about Hungarian places the lady had to shout “I’ve been there!” every single time the man mentioned some town. It wasn’t scary though, just annoying. The scary part was when my dad went to talk with some of his friends and left me alone with the woman. She started asking me questions and then pointed out: “I know where you live… I know where your house is.” And she stared straight at me with her old eyes following my expressions. At the time I wish hadn’t come.

While the ladies (except the mentioned one) didn’t want to say a word to me the men surely did – and not just that. There was a lottery in the evening and every time some of the men won something they wanted to hug me. Hug me! Yak. It seemed to be the best prize for them. As if I would have been… Yak.

Besides – they all tried to pronounce the names of the places or some Hungarian words even though none of them really couldn’t. I’m just saying.

Firstly, I have become one year older again which, however, doesn’t feel different. It’s pretty funny how your birthday gets more worthless every year. As a kid I always thought the adults that didn’t celebrate their birthday were such lame and all, and now I’m about to be an adult myself. The birthday really is becoming just one day of the all 356. Still, there’s only one more year left before I’ll have my own driving licence! If only I learn to drive…

The hardest period is over when it comes to the school and nowadays I’m having almost as much free time as I have lessons. I have two late mornings and a couple of very short days. Like for example today, when I got home already at 12.00 am. How good it feels to take it easy in the last period of the first year in the high school! Summer’s coming and stuff. Ohh…

I’ve been thinking of dreaming. Sounds pretty funny, I mean, dreaming is kind of thinking anyways. I’ve still really been thinking especially of dreaming. What if your dream comes true after being your only way to escape the tough moments of your life for years? There’s no doubt you wouldn’t need to face any difficulties after the ex-dream world has become your real life. What do you have to dream about then? Not having problems? That’s impossible. So how will you manage at the time of the troubles not having your dream to escape in anymore?
This a problem I’ve been trying to solve and not yet succeeded. The thing is that I don’t consider myself as a Finnish person even though I 100% am. Biologically. But my mind’s not Finnish at all. Well, I love sitting in the backseat of a car driving hours without saying a word though. But otherwise. And I’m scared that if only I moved to Hungary that, oh God yes, is my dream world I wouldn’t have anything to help me through the hard times. I wouldn’t mind to break the lovely illusion of the dream world either but dreaming and living in another reality 24/7 takes a lot of my energy. Gosh! I’m so glad I’m still a young person having my whole life ahead. I’m just saying.

I’m back. I haven’t really been receiving many cards lately, but there is this card -from the Spanish man I mentioned earlier- from Valencia above. According to these photographs the city looks fascinating and I’d really want to visit it some day. Aren’t those colours just beautiful? Not to mention all the amazing sights the card shows.

Although I’m very happy for the great grades I got in the 3rd period and all, I’m still not very good. You see, my so-called best friend and I had a huge fight yesterday that apparently ended up the worst way. We kind of “broke up” if you know what I mean. It didn’t come across as a big change because we haven’t really been friends for a long time. If we ever have. I mean, it was such one-sided thing… I was the only one keeping in touch, I always asked her how she is and called her and stuff. She never did. Not even when I told her I had some serious worries I would have wanted to talk about. All she did was asking “And you?” after I had asked her how she is first. Or yes, she tried to get me to tell her my problems – in the middle of our Spanish lesson! Geez. She never called, texted, asked if I’m OK or anything. And tell me if I’m wrong but that really indicates she was never interested in me or my things in the first place.

After I finally told her how I felt (I had mentioned some things many times earlier, too so it couldn’t surprise her) she got horribly mad and denied everything. The funny thing is that she told me she never asks any of her friends how they are or contacts them and that it isn’t personal (which means she admitted she’s not active). And that she knows keeping in touch is the base of a relationship but still doesn’t do that herself. “It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be interested in your things!” And then she just continued needling back to everything I said. Like what the fuck?! I can’t believe I ever told her anything. Maybe it’s just because I didn’t have any other to talk to so I didn’t care even if I was the only one keeping it all up. The longest time she didn’t take any contact was six months as I tested if I’m just imaging she never takes contact. Well, I finally ended up giving up and taking contact myself… Now I just cannot be the one anymore. I’m so disappointed she refused to even try to see things from my point of view and kind of denied everything (admitted she doesn’t keep in touch but thinks it is fine), I can’t believe I made myself thinking we were best friends. How blind I was! But like I said, this isn’t any change since we actually weren’t in contact with each other. Still I’m confused about the situation. I mean, what is the difference if I talked to the walls? I’m just saying.

What a day! Firstly, we got back our tests, for today was the last day of our 3rd period in the school. My history teacher flattered me in front of the class by complimenting my way to write an essay. She said like “At first I looked at the paper and was like ‘holy Jesus how short her essay is!’ but then I read it and was like ‘holy Jesus she can write well!’ The essay is full of facts! If she just lets you read it, please do, everyone.” I’m not sure if I have ever been that red before. And smiled that widely. Not boasting, but happily. I got 10 /12 points, five points from the both essays, and my final grade was 9 (grades 4-10). When I think of all the work I had to do I start to feel sick, but now I see it was absolutely worth it! Other tests we got back today were our German tests. My grade was 9,5 (4-10) in the real test and 10- in our short essay. I couldn’t be any happier. I thought then.

I was wrong. As I got back home and checked our mail (r e a l mail, I mean) I totally got happier. Like ten times more happier I was before checking it. Anyways. I saw right at first sight that I have got two letters. Like, I never get any letters and now I got two at the same time! Perhaps I shouldn’t tell how I acted opening the letter from my Hungarian penfriend, it would be a little bit embarrassing… But I can tell you I was happy. She even sent me this wonderful card above from Pécs, a Hungarian town I visited last summer. The another letter was from a Polish Postcrosser who had decided to write a letter, too, as I’m telling in my profile I’m interested in writing letters. And now I will have a great weekend writing looongloooong letters to these two persons. :)

But before I can write anything to anyone I have to clean up my room – once again. Mom said we would have to clean up the whole house today. Mom’s are hopeless. I’ll never be one. I’m just saying.

Man! I have never seen this much snow in Finland before. It keeps snowing every day and at the time you’ve cleared the snow, you have to do it again. I mean, the snow drifts are over one meter high! And God it looks beautiful.

I didn’t go to school today. I would only have had two German lessons, so I decided to stay home and study for my biology test, which is tomorrow. I still don’t get it (biology, I mean), but at least I’ve tried now. The whole text is full of strange words that no human-being understands. Haha. Great. Wish me luck for the test.

Moreover, I’m also terribly tired because of the agility competition last weekend. I really had to wake up at 02.00 am. I never really took back that night which means my sleep deprivation is somewhat huge. Not that it wouldn’t have been worth it. We got our last clear run in our class and that means we got to the next class, too! That totally was worth it! The best thing however is that I won’t need to wake up that early anymore, because the next class always starts around midday. At least in theory. Practically I still will need to go to the upcoming competitions early, for my little sister’s dog competes in our old class and we need to travel in a same car… And once I turn 18 there ain’t anything that can deter me from going anywhere and anytime I want to. Except for gasoline prices. I’m just saying.

Wow. I just got an interesting e-mail from a man from Valencia (Spain). Or it was actually a personal message he had sent me through the Postcrossing system. Anyways, the man said he would like to receive a postcard from my town. He also mentioned he could send me a postcard from Valencia, too. It’s kind of exciting, because this was the first time ever someone wanted to direct swap with me. I said yes, of course. My Postcrossing profile is anyways stucked, because none of my five traveling postcards has arrived to its destination so I cannot send any cards now, except for direct swaps. And now I would have to find a card that shows my town. And I still cannot stop thinking why on Earth he wants to have a card from here. I mean, this is like the smallest town in the whole world. It’s such a small probability that he would know my city. Maybe that’s just why.

I wouldn’t like to go to sleep tonight. Why would I? I have to wake up at 02.30 am anyways, since I need to go for an (dog) agility competition that starts at 05.30 am. I mean, I wouldn’t have even got any sleep until the time I would need to wake up! So I still haven’t decided whether I will go to bed tonight or not. I guess it would be easier for me just to stay awake and skip the whole night. Besides, my stomach is starting to ache for this whole excitement I have inside of me. I would not get any sleep even if I’d try. I’m just saying.

Thank God my history test is over. And I guess I did quite well. We’ll see. We had five choices and we had to answer to two of them. I chose to write one essay on the Ancient Greece (the changes of the nature). The another one was on the Industrial Revolution (how did the environment and all the people’s life change). There was only two hours time for these two essays so as you can possibly guess – I didn’t really finish the another one. But I guess I managed to at least mention everything I wanted to. We’ll see.

It wasn’t until yesterday that I opened this blog, so you don’t know anything about me yet. I’m a huge language addict. At the age of 16 I’m already studying not only Finnish, Swedish and English but also German, Spanish and Hungarian. All of them (besides Hungarian) are offered in my high school, and I find it a big advantage. I have also heard that there will be an opportunity to study French, too – next year. Because I am studying Hungarian independently (for the lack of the lessons) I have been looking for some tips and online resources. After going through a couple of interesting blogs I found a link to Let’s Learn Hungarian! website that is amazingly great! The podcasts are so nice and useful for listening, as I already had a Hungarian exercise book which didn’t include any tape or cds. Singing Hungarian songs have made my pronounciation pretty good and this is a good way to go. I still want to take part in some Hungarian lessons as soon as I only find them in Finland. In addition to going high school I really have no time for this independent studying. What a pity! Hungarian language is a subject that I would be most interested in and my motivation to it would be very high.

It’s been snowing all day long today. I promised my mom to clear the snow from our yard with my little sister, so I kinda have to go now. I think there’s enough snow and coldness already. Where’s the summer? I’m just saying.

It’s freezing. It really is freezing. The temperature was -28C yestarday and it’s been -22C (plus this freezing wind) today. Moreover, it feels like -30C because of the wind. But at least it looks wonderful outside. You cannot see the sun clearly, only a yellow ball hanging on in the sky covered with white clouds. It’s windy and snowing, some kind of storm, I guess. As I went to local post office in order to buy some postcards for the Postcrossing system I couldn’t see anything. Mostly because of the wind, but also for my face was all frozen. I’ve never visited Siperia, but I bet it’s just like this!

This coldness obviously drives me crazy, and that’s why me and my sister have planned to go for a language trip to Malta not this, but the next summer (2011). For one month. I really really want to learn English properly. I want to learn to speak it. I mean, I already can, though, but I’m way too shy. Like today, when one of my friends took her Belarussian guest with her to see our school. I had planned to go and introduce myself to her, but no. I ended up only to say “Hi”, smile like an insane and mutter “You too”, as she said it was nice to meet you. Like someone inside me would have been locking my mouth! That’s just stupid. I know exactly what I’m going to say and still say nothing. What a jerk I am.

I just got my books for the rest school year and I’ve eagerly been leafing through the pages of especially my English and Swedish books. Unfortunately they aren’t the books I should be reading… I have my history test tomorrow and yet I would need to read some more. But how can you read when it’s freezing even inside the house?! I’m just saying.